​Glad to See 2017 End

What a year it has been. I cannot ever remember being more delighted to see the end of a year. 2017 was filled with crises -- not just for me and my family, but for so many others. My heart has been broken open as I have been overwhelmed with both personal and communal suffering. The floods that hit our community are both real and metaphorical for me -- the floodwaters have put my soul "under water." 

Surveying the Damage 

As the floodwaters recede, I contemplate the damage done. On the physical level, we see so many still trying to get their homes and businesses rebuilt. The emotional damage is equally heart-rending. 

When I look at the damage done to my own psyche, I am aware of how much that has been swept away in the crises of this past year was egocentric. Like most humans, I had carefully constructed a set of defenses that protected me from feeling my vulnerability. Now that those defenses are gone, I am forced to come to grips with a soul laid bare. I am mad about this exposure, but am beginning to experience some new birth in the broken spaces. 

Discovering the Hunger 

What I have discovered underneath the ruins of my failed ego is a new and deeper spiritual hunger. Jesus taught us that "Blessed are those that hunger and thirst for righteousness." The word righteousness, when broken down etymologically, means "right wiseness." It is a relationship word. It means the right relational dimensions. Oh, how I hunger for righteousness, for a restructuring of our personal and communal structures to support the well-being of humankind and reconnection with God. Will you join me this new year in cultivating such a hunger?   

Reflection Questions

​What has been difficult about 2017? What was joyful and fulfilling? 

What are your hopes for the new year? 

What are you hungry for? 

​The Power of Language
In his book The Mind of God, neurologist Dr. Jay Lombard posits that it is our capacity to create language that sets human beings apart from other species. Words, he states, represent our mind’s unique ability to “create garments in which to dress our inner states … and to share them with others.”

 
 
A Lot of Writing
At the beginning of 2017, I committed to doing more writing. Wait a minute, you may be saying. You certainly didn’t meet that goal. We haven’t seen much writing from you this past year.

Actually, I’ve been doing a lot of writing. As some of you are aware, last spring we enrolled our daughter in a program to help her cope better with her depression. Because it was a residential program, we were baffled about how to best support her during this time of separation. We visited her every time the doors were open to us – three or four times a week. But we wanted her to know that we loved her even on those days when we could not be physically present. I hit upon the idea to write her a letter for each day of the week.

How could I have known that this simple act would have such an impact? Lily began to write me letters back. Both of us, it seems, are often better able to express our feelings in written word than in verbal conversation. What did Lily like best about my letters? “They make me think, mom.” She loved it when I would ask her questions that she would then ponder. She wrote me back with the responses to those questions and then posed questions for me to answer.

When the time came for Lily to graduate from the program, I shared with a friend that I would miss Lily’s and my correspondence back and forth. “Why stop?” challenged the friend. “This sounds like a practice that you can continue when she returns home.” And so I have continued to write my daughter a letter every day. She has kept every one.

Can I confess that I really don’t think my letters are written that well? I continue to be stymied by how to enter into the experience and mindset of a 13-year-old, especially one that has been through so much trauma. I keep thinking that I should be able to do better – find some wisdom to impart or express some idea that would help her break through her depression. But even though my writing this year has been mediocre, my daughter doesn’t seem to notice. It is the faithfulness of giving a letter to her every day that seems to speak most eloquently.  
 

 
 
Reflection Questions

​Think back on a time when you received a special letter. What was it that made the experience so impactful?

What are some ways you seek to put your "inner states" into language? What makes this rewarding? What makes it challenging?

​Exercise #5: Take Time to Consider  

Jesus once instructed his disciples to "Consider the lilies." That means that Jesus had already done so and had learned an inspirational lesson from these flowers. For our 5th stretching exercise for the Lenten season, I invite you to consider something from your own life. What is the lesson you are asked to learn from it?  

What This Means for Us

So many times, I treat the scenery of my life as an object. I look for what it can do for me. But when I catch myself and "consider" the things that surround me, I can see the holy in them. For Jesus, it was a lily out in nature that taught him to trust God for the essentials of life. He found the sacredness of the lilies because he was looking for it.

What would happen if I treated my cell phone, not as an object, but as a sacred instrument? How about the silverware I use to prepare and eat my food? Can I stop long enough to be thankful for such a tool? To consider the hours of workmanship that went in to the design and creation of this holy instrument?

The sacred is all around us. Lent is a time to reflect upon the holy things around us that connect us more deeply to love.

Reflection Questions

​What is an object in your life that has taken on special meaning for you? Spend a few minutes in gratitude for such a sacred instrument.

The next time you take a drive or a walk, pay full attention to your environment. Is there something that catches your eye that you have never noticed before?  What happens when you consider that something as sacred?  

What is something in your day-to-day life that you take for granted. Ask the Spirit to open your eyes and ears to listen and learn from such a holy thing.

​Exercise #4: Allow for Interruptions

In the great Sermon on the Mount, Jesus instructed his followers on how to handle disagreements with one another. From this teaching, we can identify another spiritual exercise that can enrich our lives and our relationships during this Lenten season. 

The teaching goes like this, 
if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. (Matt. 5:23-24 ESV)

While this teaching is specifically directed at reconciliation, I believe the spiritual exercise we can glean goes far beyond one application. What is being encouraged here is to be willing to be interrupted from almost anything we are doing in order to pay attention to something that is more important. 

What This Means for Us

Our lives often revolve around set patterns we have established in order to make order out of chaos. Some of these patterns take on the nature of rites and rituals. We get our coffee in the morning and read a few news headlines. We take the same route to work. We hang out with the same people. We have an evening ritual of preparing for bed. 

Nothing wrong with any of this, except that it can be difficult to get our attention around something that is seeking us, calling us. 

According to Jesus' teaching, we can be right in the middle of the most sacred ritual possible -- that of worship of God -- and still miss what God might be trying to tell us. Listen to those interruptions, he seems to be saying. Allow for our "shows" to be interrupted by a message from our sponsor. There may be something more important, more pressing. A call to life. Don't miss it. 

Reflection Questions

​What does your worship or sacred time look like? How can you make room within it to listen more carefully to what life may be calling you to do?

When was the last time you got an interruption in the middle of something important -- or at least it seemed important? How did you respond? Did you resent the interruption or welcome it as a potential message from God? What was the outcome? 

How do you respond when your daily rituals are disrupted? How can you deepen your awareness of what larger priorities God might be asking you to cultivate? 

Exercise #3: Persistent Pushiness 

In the gospels of Matthew and Mark, we read a story about a woman whose child was troubled by a mental illness. From this story, we can see what a third spiritual exercise looks like in action -- the exercise of pressing against opposition until healing breaks through.

The woman was a foreigner -- not a member of Jesus' religion or his nation of origin. Jesus was worn out and was trying to take a break in a friend's home. Somehow the woman got in and begged Jesus to heal her daughter. Jesus went silent.

The disciples wanted Jesus to send the woman away; her cries were annoying to them. When Jesus finally spoke, it was to remind the woman of his mission on earth -- to find the lost sheep among his own people. But the woman would not give up. Jesus again sought to discourage her by saying, I have only so much bread (time and energy); I cannot help you. The woman persisted, cleverly turning Jesus' metaphor back on him. She asked for the opportunity to sit under the table and collect any crumbs that might fall. 

That kind of faith Jesus could not resist. He praised the woman and released divine power from his body. The woman's daughter was instantly healed.

What This Means for Us

Sometimes when our prayers seem to go unheeded, we give up too easily.  To practice the spiritual exercise of persistent pushiness is to be so sure of God's love and goodness that we allow no obstacle to get in the way of healing. Our request may be met with silence, outright opposition or a patient reminder to wait in line. In order for God to do the work of love on earth, we must take the chance to cut through all the spiritual paperwork and claim a share of God's goodness for our own child, our own neighborhood or our own nation.  

This Lenten season, let's practice a newfound boldness in our prayers. Don't take "no" for an answer.

Reflection Questions

Think about a time when you prayed patiently for divine assistance but your prayers seemed to fall on deaf ears. What would it look like to start praying for that assistance again, taking your prayers to a new level of faith?  

Who are the people in your life who discourage you from claiming all the love and grace available to you as God's child? How can you push through that opposition, listening more fully to the voice of God within you than to the discouraging words around you?

What is some gift of grace on behalf of someone you love that you want so badly, you are unwilling to take no for an answer? Can you hear God's affirmation of your faith? What is an additional step you can take to be a conduit of God's blessing on behalf of your loved one?

​Exercise #2: Turn Around and Go Back 

For our second spiritual exercise for this Lenten season, let's look at the story found in the gospel of Luke, a story about 10 persons suffering from the disease of leprosy. When they called out to Jesus for help, he responded with these instructions -- "Go show yourselves to the priests." As they walked out of the village to follow his directions, immediately they were healed. 

Nine of the men continued on their way to show the priests. One turned around, came back to Jesus and praised God with a loud voice (since leprosy affects the vocal chords, this would not have been possible before his healing). Jesus is amazed at this person's return and wonders why the others didn't do the same. 

What This Means for Us

Have you ever set your eyes on a particular goal and pursued that goal with all of your strength? We usually think of that as a good thing. But sometimes, it is worth re-evaluating the goal in light of new circumstances. How often do we continue on in a certain direction just because that's the way we are headed? Too often, I fear. 

This Lenten season, I invite you to reconsider the direction you are heading. Is it time to turn around and go back? Time to prioritize your contact with the healer over the blessing of those with spiritual authority? 

Reflection Questions

​Think about a two or three goals that you are currently pursuing. Where are these goals taking you? Is that where you really want to go? 

What keeps you from turning around and returning to the place where you find the most life? 

What is one goal you'd like to let go of so that you can enjoy more fully a life of spiritual freedom? 

​What are you doing for Lent? For the next 40 days, I'm going to be doing some exercises. Not the physical kind -- but spiritual exercises. And not the typical spiritual exercises like fasting and giving up things. A different kind of "stretch." Here's my exercise for the first week of Lent.

 Exercise #1: Crossing to the Other Side of the Boat

Do you remember this story from the gospel of John? It was after Jesus' resurrection. Peter decided to go fishing; it was, after all, his profession. Some of the disciples went with him. But they didn't catch anything -- all night long.

About daybreak, they saw Jesus on the shore. He asked them if they had caught anything and they replied "no." Then he told them to cast their net down on the other side of the boat. They did, and caught so many fish they could barely get them all to shore.

Jesus was a carpenter trying to tell experienced fishermen how to fish. He invited them to do something differently than what their experience taught them to do. And because of that, they caught more fish than they knew what to do with.

 What This Means for Us

During this Lenten season, I invite you to join me in trying out this spiritual exercise. We think we know the right way. Our experience gives us confidence to act in ways that have worked in the past. But sometimes we need to listen to the voice of inexperience. To let someone who can see things we cannot see give us instruction. We need to let go of "our way," crossing over to the other side of the boat to look at life through "resurrection eyes."

 Reflection Questions

Think of something you are really good at. At what point does our expertise and experience get in our way? Are you still learning things or have you gotten comfortable with the way you have always done it?

What is something that is not working very well for you right now? How can you open up your mind and heart for someone else to show you the way?

Where is your comfort zone? What side of the boat is your favorite? How can you move across to the other side and gain new insights from a different perspective?

When is the last time you received an unexpected word of praise? Relive that experience for a few seconds, savoring the positive energy that you derived from feeling acknowledged. Seen. Heard.

When is the last time you offered affirming, positive words to someone else? How many times during the day do we take the time to notice others? And then reflect back what we have seen?

 
 
Three Kinds of Affirmation

1. Affirm being over doing. To me, the most impactful affirmations I both give and receive are those who recognize "who" a person is more than "what" they have done. What people do for us is useful, but who they are acknowledges the value of their very existence. Try out some of these phrases when you want to acknowledge others:

"I so enjoy watching you with your children. Your playfulness is a delight."

"When I see you so focused as you organize the event, I feel like I am seeing your core strengths in action. It inspires me."

"Your creativity really shone brightly in our last meeting. Thank you for being willing to share that gift."

2. Affirm effort over results. Carol Dweck is the researcher who has best articulated how important it is to affirm children for their efforts and perseverance through difficulty. But all of us benefit when others acknowledge us for trying, even if our efforts do not result in everything we hope. Affirming effort encourages us to try, try again until we succeed. It develops a "growth mindset" that equips us to navigate effectively through life challenges.   

3. Affirm character over all. The development of character is perhaps life's highest achievement. Drawing attention to the character of another person affirms them at a transcendent "soul level." We so rarely are affirmed for character, we hardly know what to do when it happens. It takes the breath away. It signifies that another person has been watching the true self below all of our appearances and sees the progress we are making at reaching our full potential as the sons and daughters of God. What a gift. 

Reflection Questions
Think back on an affirmation you received from someone which made a difference in your life. What was it about the affirmation that made it so powerful?

How intentional are you each day about being a conduit of blessing to others? How might you use affirmations as a way to bless those around you?

In what type of environment do you live and work each day? Is it toxic or positive or some of both? What are you called to do to impact your environment? What is your role in creating space in which all can thrive?

 

Thoughts on Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday

Last summer I visited Ebenezer Baptist Church, the place where Martin Luther King Jr. birthed the modern civil rights movement. I came away from my experience marveling at the power of one man's vision to transform our nation's consciousness. Where does the power to confront entrenched, institutionalized hatred originate?

 Power in the Midst of Crisis

Sociologically speaking, human beings, when in crisis, look to authoritative leaders to save them. Our biology tells us to give up our autonomy if our survival is at stake. We must resist this primal urge to abdicate our power to demagogically authority figures.

 The Legacy

What Dr. King did so well was to call forth the courage latent within the souls of black Americans to take their destiny into their own hands. Their victory cannot be attributed to skillful leverage of the political or economic power structure. Their triumph bears testimony to the power of the human spirit.

 Reflection Questions
​- What are the next steps in our nation's journey towards our mission of "liberty and justice for all?"
- What can we learn from Dr. King's approach to help us realize our national vision?
- What problems can we solve by simply taking back our power, so foolishly invested in autocratic leaders?

The Morning After
On November 9th, after waking up to find that candidate Donald Trump had tipped the scales to acquire the 270 votes needed to win the Electoral College, I picked up from my kitchen table the book Crowds and Power by Elias Canetti. I took out the bookmark and began to read a new section entitled "The Entrails of Power:"

"The psychology of seizing and incorporating, like that of eating in general, is still completely unexplored. We tend to take the whole process for granted and never reflect on the mysteriousness of much that occurs in the course of it. There is nothing about us which is more strongly primitive. It is something we share with animals...

"First there is the lying in wait for prey; the prey is marked down long before it is aware of our designs on it. With feelings of pleasure and approval it is contemplated, observed and kept watch over.... Nothing can deflect the watcher's determination to get hold of it. Already while he is prowling round it he feels that it belongs to him. From the moment he selects it as his prey, he thinks of it as incorporated into himself....

"Man is not always strong enough to obtain his prey directly. The skills and experience in pursuit which he has acquired have resulted in his developing all kinds of complicated traps. Often he makes use of the power of transformation which is his specific gift and appears disguised as the animal he is after. He acts it so well that it believes him. This manner of trapping an animal may be termed flattery. The animal is told 'I am like you. I am you. You can safely let me come near you.'" (page 203)

 
 
Reflection Questions
What were your own feelings upon waking on November 9th? Despair? Elation? Something in between? What resources did you seek to make sense of this experience?

Have you ever acted like an animal stalking its prey? What were the circumstances? Did you get what you sought? How has that impacted your life? How did it impact others? What spiritual practices do you employ to feed the part of you that is more than an animal?

Think of a time when you have been the "prey" of someone else. What were the circumstances? How did you regain your power? How has this experience shaped your life? How has it shaped your political choices?

What are the similarities and differences between the 2016 presidential election and the imagery used by Canetti? Who has been stalking whom, in your view? What traps are used in our current election process to gain power? How can you safeguard yourself and those you love from predators who attempt to utilize elected office for self-serving reasons?

Who has the potential to become a victim as a result of this election? Who stands to gain power? Based on your interpretation of the election results, how will you respond to this change in the power dynamic? How are you called to work for justice and equality within the framework of your political beliefs?

​Copyright 2016 by Margaret Morgan Maat